This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
