Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize
