no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
