You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Boobs are out for the taking
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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