Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
