my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
