i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
