It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
