I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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