fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
