I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
