Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Less talking, more tequila
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
