Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
