Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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