ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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