lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
