Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Randomize
