i jhust puked up my retainher.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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