Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
