How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Randomize
