Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I did not marry a roomba.
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