VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
