Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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