Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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