She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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