uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
