Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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