As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
