Well apparently he's into motor boating.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
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