He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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