tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
We need to feng shui this bitch.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
