So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
