whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
