So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
