I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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