turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
