i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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