Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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