u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
