I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I need to sanitize my soul.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
