tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
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