It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
