Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
