How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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