dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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