I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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