I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
