No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Randomize
