Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
My cat gives me a boner
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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