i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
